Matching is the step where intended parents and a screened, medically and psychologically cleared gestational carrier are brought together based on shared expectations - not simply on who is available. At a full-service agency it follows a clear sequence: the surrogate completes screening, the two sides' preferences and values are compared, profiles are shared, and the parties meet and both agree before anyone is committed. It is a mutual decision, which surprises many intended parents at first: you choose your surrogate, and she chooses you. And a strong match is defined less by a flawless profile than by how closely the two sides align on the things that actually come up over a pregnancy.
This page explains how matching works from the intended parent s' side - the sequence, what makes a match strong, whether it is really mutual, and how long it tends to take. If you are a surrogate trying to understand how you would choose intended parents, that is a different set of questions with a different starting point, and we cover it on your surrogacy journey: what to expect.
At Worldwide Surrogacy, the sequence is:
Surrogate applies and completes her profile
Intended Parents apply and complete their profile
When Intended Parents are within the top 10 or 15 waiting Intended Parents, the matching team will suggest candidates who are almost done with screening to a specific Intended Parent couple or individual.
If the Intended Parents like the profile, the Surrogate’s medical records will be sent to the Intended Parents’ fertility clinic
If the fertility physician approves the medical records AND the Surrogate completes all screening, i.e. psychological evaluation, background investigation, etc., a meeting will be coordinated between the Intended Parents and the Surrogate.
If, after the meeting, the Intended Parents and the Surrogate express a desire to confirm the match, the matching team will send out a confirmation emai.
Then, the Surrogate will be scheduled to go to the fertility clinic for the final piece of the screening which is a physical examination and testing at the fertility clinic.
What does surrogacy matching actually involve?
Matching is the process of pairing intended parents with a gestational carrier whose situation, values, and expectations fit theirs, and at a full-service agency it moves through a recognizable sequence rather than a single introduction. In broad terms, a prospective surrogate is screened and cleared first; the intended parents and the surrogate each set out their preferences, circumstances, and hopes for the relationship; the agency identifies a candidate who fits on both sides; profiles are shared for each party to consider; and the two sides meet - often first by video, then sometimes in person - and decide together whether to move forward. Only once both sides say yes does the journey proceed to the legal contract and the medical steps.
Two things about that sequence matter more than the order of the steps. First, no responsible agency simply assigns you the next available surrogate; the point of the preference-gathering and the introduction is that a match is a considered fit, not a queue position. Second, the surrogate has already cleared screening before you are introduced, so the person you are considering is someone a clinic and a mental-health professional have already found suitable to carry - which is why matching and screening are best understood as two linked stages of the same decision.
If the Surrogate is fully medically approved, the match will move to the Surrogacy Agreement (Surrogacy Contract) stage.
Why does screening come before matching?
Screening comes first because it defines who can be matched at all, and it is the reason the pool of eligible surrogates is much smaller than the number of women who inquire. Before a gestational carrier can be matched, she is expected to meet established medical and psychological standards. Under the American Society for Reproductive Medicine's guidance, a carrier should ideally have had at least one prior term, uncomplicated pregnancy, be preferably between the ages of 21 and 45, and have had no more than five previous deliveries or three cesarean sections. Beyond that history, ASRM guidance calls for a full medical evaluation including infectious-disease screening, a formal psychological evaluation with standardized testing by a qualified mental-health professional, and a stable home environment with adequate support.
These standards exist to protect the surrogate and the pregnancy, and they are the right standards - but they also mean a match is only real once a carrier has cleared them. A profile that looks like a fit is not a match until the medical and psychological clearances are complete. We keep the full eligibility criteria and disqualifiers on a dedicated page rather than repeat them here; if you want to understand exactly what a surrogate must meet, see the requirements a surrogate has to meet.
What makes a strong surrogate match?
A strong match is built on alignment, not on a perfect résumé, because the things that make a surrogacy journey go well are the things the two sides have to agree on before the pregnancy, not after. In practice, the areas that matter most are consistent from match to match:
- Expectations about the relationship and contact. How much communication both sides want during the pregnancy, whether they hope to stay in touch after the birth, and what that ongoing relationship looks like. A surrogate who wants a close, continuing relationship and intended parents who prefer privacy afterward are not a strong match, however well they get along at first - and the reverse is equally true.
- Views on sensitive medical decisions. How each side thinks about questions like the number of embryos transferred, carrying multiples, and how they would approach a decision about selective reduction or termination if a medical situation arose. These are among the hardest conversations in surrogacy, and they matter especially because, once pregnant, the carrier retains authority over her own medical care - ASRM is explicit that the gestational carrier is the source of consent regarding her medical care through the pregnancy. Alignment here is not optional; it is the difference between a shared plan and a conflict during a wanted pregnancy.
- Practical and logistical fit. Location and the surrogate's proximity to a suitable clinic, her availability to begin, and the requirements of the intended parents' chosen IVF clinic all shape whether a given pairing can actually proceed.
- Personal rapport and mutual comfort. Beyond the checkboxes, matching works when both sides simply feel comfortable with each other, because they are entering a relationship that lasts the better part of two years and carries real emotional weight for everyone in it.
The reason a good agency spends time understanding what you actually want, rather than moving fast, is that alignment on these points is what makes the rest of the journey calmer - and misalignment is what may create the hard moments later.
Is matching a mutual choice?
Yes. Matching is mutual: intended parents consider a surrogate, and the surrogate considers the intended parents, and both sides have to agree before a match is made. This is one of the most common misunderstandings intended parents bring to the process. Because you are the ones seeking a carrier, it is easy to assume you are the only one choosing - but a reputable agency shares the intended parents' profile with the surrogate too, and she has to want to work with you. A surrogate is a screened adult making a considered decision to carry for a family whose values she can support; ASRM guidance frames her throughout as an autonomous decision-maker with her own independent legal counsel and her own informed consent, not a service provider assigned to a client.
For intended parents, the practical takeaway is reassuring rather than daunting: a match where the surrogate genuinely chose you is more stable than one where she was simply available. If you want to understand how the decision looks from her side - what a surrogate weighs when she reviews intended parents - that is covered, for that audience, on your surrogacy journey: what to expect.
How long does it take to match with a surrogate?
The honest range runs from a few months to well over a year, and it depends far more on the availability of qualified surrogates and your own flexibility than on any agency's marketing promise. Historically, before the recent surrogate shortage, match waits ran about three to six months; that benchmark is now frequently exceeded, because there are more intended parents seeking a carrier than there are women who are available and medically cleared to carry. The scarce part of the journey is the surrogate herself, not the medicine or the paperwork - which is exactly why the screening standards above lengthen the wait, and why the narrower your preferences, the smaller the pool that fits them and the longer you may wait. Any agency that promises a fast, guaranteed match is quoting you a best case rather than a realistic plan.
We treat this question at length, including what you can do while you wait and why an inflated timeline is not a kindness, in how long does it take to match with a surrogate?. The short version for planning purposes is to expect a wait, ask any agency how actively it recruits and screens carriers, and know that flexibility on non-essential preferences is the lever most within your control.
What happens after you're matched?
Once both sides agree to the match, the journey moves into two structured stages before any pregnancy begins: the legal contract and the medical process. The gestational carrier agreement is negotiated with the surrogate represented by her own independent attorney - a protection that ASRM treats as a requirement, not a courtesy - so that both sides' rights and responsibilities are set out clearly before a transfer. We explain what that contract covers in what is a gestational carrier agreement?. After the contract is signed, the medical stage begins, working through the IVF and embryo-transfer steps we walk through in the surrogacy process: the medical steps for IVF.
The point worth holding onto is that matching is not the finish line; it is the decision that everything after it is built on. A carefully made match is what allows the legal and medical stages to proceed without the friction that a rushed or poorly-aligned pairing tends to produce later.
Is it better to use a surrogate who is a friend or relative?
For most intended parents, an agency match is the practical path, because using a friend or relative requires that you already have a specific person who is willing, medically eligible, and truly free to make that choice - and even then it may come with relational complications that an agency match does not have. Using an adult family member or close friend as a gestational carrier is not off-limits; the ASRM Ethics Committee considers it generally ethically acceptable when everyone involved is fully counseled and gives informed consent, each party has independent legal counsel, and the arrangement is free of coercion or undue influence - with particular caution for intergenerational arrangements, which ASRM notes warrant heightened scrutiny for exactly that reason.
The tradeoffs are as much relational as medical. A known carrier can feel more comfortable and less costly at the outset, but it also permanently changes a family relationship, and it raises questions that an arms-length match does not - what the carrier's ongoing relationship with the child will be, and how to hold the boundary between the two families afterward. A known carrier still has to meet the same medical and psychological standards as any other surrogate, so "already willing" is not the same as "eligible." For most families who do not have a suitable, willing person already in their lives, agency matching to a screened, unrelated carrier is the more straightforward route.
How does WSS approach matching?
At Worldwide Surrogacy Specialists, matching is treated as a relationship-first decision rather than a queue to clear as quickly as possible, because the surrogate you match with is the person who will carry your child, and getting that right matters more than getting it fast. Three things shape how WSS handles it. WSS was founded and is led by a practicing reproductive attorney, Victoria T. Ferrara, which means the legal structure that protects a match - the contract, the parentage work, the independent counsel for the surrogate - is supervised by your own legal advisor who is built into the process from the start rather than added on afterward. The same case manager stays with you from your first conversation with your surrogate through your match and through delivery. And because WSS's team includes women who have themselves been gestational surrogates, the people guiding your match understand the decision from the carrier's side as well as yours - which is part of why the matches they make tend to hold.
If you want to understand what a realistic match would look like for your specific situation, that is a conversation worth having with a real person rather than a promise pulled from a homepage. In a consultation, our team can walk you through where the surrogate pool stands now, how your own preferences and flexibility affect your match, and what your next steps would be.
Book a consultation with our team Read about the intended-parent process
Frequently asked questions
How are intended parents matched with a surrogate?
Intended parents are matched with a gestational carrier who has already cleared medical and psychological screening and whose preferences, values, and expectations align with theirs. At a full-service agency, both sides set out what they are looking for, profiles are shared, and the two sides meet and agree before the match is made and the legal and medical stages begin.
Do I get to choose my surrogate?
Yes, and she also chooses you. Matching is mutual: the agency shares your profile with the surrogate as well, and both sides have to agree before a match is finalized. A match where the surrogate genuinely chose to work with you tends to be more stable than one based on availability alone.
How long does it take to match with a surrogate?
Plan for a wait that can run from a few months to well over a year. Match times have lengthened past the historical three-to-six-month benchmark because there are more intended parents than there are available, medically cleared surrogates. Your flexibility on non-essential preferences is the factor most within your control.
What makes a good surrogate match?
Alignment on the things that come up during a pregnancy: how much contact both sides want during and after, how each side views sensitive medical decisions, practical fit on location and clinic requirements, and genuine personal comfort between the two sides.
Can I use a friend or family member as my surrogate?
It is possible and can be ethically appropriate when everyone is fully counseled, has independent legal counsel, and is free of any pressure, and when the known carrier meets the same medical and psychological standards as any other surrogate. It also permanently changes a family relationship, so it is a decision to weigh carefully rather than assume is simpler.
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