What Intended Parents Should Look for in a Surrogate

Marisa Papa


Choosing a surrogate or intended parent(s) to match with is a very individual and personal experience. A lot of thought, time and effort goes into choosing a partner in this very special journey. Each pairing of surrogates and intended parent(s) is different; however, it is extremely important for both parties involved to feel as if they found the perfect fit. Here are some important factors that intended parents should consider when looking for the right person to help them bring their child into the world. 

In beginning the search for a surrogate, there are many factors that should be taken into consideration. The most important factor to consider is the health of your potential surrogate. Given that this woman will be an imperative aspect of your surrogacy journey, it is important that your surrogate is healthy and capable of carrying a child. Generally, women should be between the ages of 21 and 43 witsuccessful and uncomplicated pregnancy. In addition, most clinic doctors require that a surrogate have a healthy body mass index (BMI) which can range anywhere from 18-3, depending on height and other various factors. A potential surrogate should also maintain a healthy lifestyle, which is free of alcohol consumption, recreational drug use, and smoking.

Other factors that play a role in choosing a surrogate are often those regarding the pregnancy itself. For example, is the surrogate willing to carry multiples and if so, how many? How many IVF cycles is she willing to try? Does she have a preferred OBGYN? How much contact would she like before, during, and after the pregnancy? Would she give the intended parent(s) the right to terminate or reduce the pregnancy? All of these questions should and will be discussed thoroughly before any formal agreement so that all parties are on the same page.

In addition to the above-mentioned characteristics, a surrogate's emotional stability also plays a large role in the matching process. They must prove to be of sound mind, and capable of being logical and rational in their thoughts and decision making. All of the surrogates that we process at WSS must pass a basic personality test, and speak with our social worker in addition to a clinical psychologist. The psychologist will also speak to the woman's significant other to ensure the surrogate is not only living in a safe environment but also that they are supportive and understanding of the surrogate's decision to help another family have a child. The desire to become a surrogate is an extremely generous and important decision. However, it is important that the Intended Parent(s) feel secure and confident in their surrogate agency's abilities to properly screen all potential surrogates. At WSS, we run background checks on all of our surrogates and their significant others/spouses/partners, if applicable, prior to the match being made. Therefore, any potential surrogate that we present to intended parents, will have already been psychologically screened and medically approved by the clinic doctor and the psychologist.

It is important that all potential surrogates are able to provide for themselves and their family before committing to providing for another family. Additionally, women should have a strong support system of friends and family behind them throughout the entire journey. Although WSS offers support every step of the way, it is also beneficial for surrogates to have their own support at home to be there for them emotionally and physically during and after the pregnancy.

Though every surrogacy journey may vary based on individual preferences, these are the most common attributes that Intended Parent(s) seek out when matching with a surrogate. Therefore, it is important that your surrogacy matching agency understands the attributes that you are looking for in a surrogate to ensure that the best possible match can be made for all parties involved.

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